Home Relationship Who You Are Marrying? 79 Premarital Counseling Questions
premarital counseling questions

Who You Are Marrying? 79 Premarital Counseling Questions

by Martha Simmonds

Marriage is all about love and strengthening the bond between two people. It should be a happy time, but sometimes things don’t work out as they should. Some people get married to someone only to find out they are complete strangers. Other times, people realize they got married and have completely different ideals.

To make sure you are both on the same page and you understand your partner, you need to ask some questions. Here are 79 premarital counseling questions to make sure you and your soon-to-be spouse are really ready to get married.

79 Premarital Counseling Questions


Questions about Money

1. How do you feel about saving money?
2. How important is money to you?
3. How do you feel about investing?
4. Do you want joint or separate accounts?
5. Do you have debt?
6. How do you feel about debt?
7. Do you budget and what does it look like?
8. How are finances controlled?
9. Who pays the bills?
10. Who is in charge of the finances?
11. Who is in charge of making money?
12. What are your spending habits?

Questions about Sex

1. What is your opinion on sex in a relationship?
2. How much sex do you think is good in a relationship?
3. How important is a sexual relationship to you?
4. What is considered infidelity to you?
5. What is your biggest sexual fantasy?
6. What turns you off?
7. What gets you in the mood?
8. What do you think about your partner’s previous sexual history?
9. Do you have any set boundaries in the bedroom?

Questions for the Future

1. Do you want children?
2. How many children would you want to have?
3. Where would you like to go during the holidays?
4. Would you like pets?
5. What kind of pets would you like?
6. How will friends and family members be handled as a couple?
7. What kind of pets would you not like?
8. Where do you see yourself living?
9. Do you prefer city or rural living?
10. How much do you expect both of us to work?
11. Do you want or expect to change careers in the future?

Questions about Conflict

1. How do you handle conflict?
2. Are you open to couples therapy when needed?
3. Is your career or your family more important?
4. Do you hold on to issues or bring them up as they occur?
5. Would you choose me or your family during a disagreement?
6. What are your conflict boundaries?
7. What are absolute deal-breakers?
8. What happens when an agreement can’t be met?

Same Page

Questions to Make Sure You’re on the Same Page

1. How would you like your children to be raised?
2. What is your opinion on birth control?
3. If you don’t want children, what kinds of birth control are acceptable to you?
4. What religion would you like to teach your children?
5. Do you want your children to be educated at home or in a school?
6. Do you have limits, boundaries, or expectations about other people outside of the relationship like family members, friends, or coworkers?
7. What do marriage and commitment mean to you?
8. What is your religion?
9. Do you expect your partner’s beliefs to match your own?
10. How much time do you expect to spend with each other in the relationship?
11. How much free time would you like?
12. What does the perfect marriage sound like to you?

Questions to Put Everything in the Open

1. What do you value the most in your relationship?
2. How much time do you spend with friends during the week?
3. What do you usually do when you get home from work?
4. How do you feel about your partner’s family?
5. How is your sex life with your partner?
6. Why is marriage important to you?
7. Do you agree with all of your partner’s lifestyle choices? Which do you not?
8. How do you feel about prenuptial?
9. Is it okay if I visit family or friends for a couple of weeks at a time?
10. Are you against moving?
11. Do you have health issues your partner should know about?
12. Do you feel any hesitation about getting married to your partner?

Questions on Roles in Relationships

1. How would you prefer to divide up household chores?
2. If having children, who would be staying with them?
3. What role do you want in the marriage?
4. What role do you expect your partner to play?
5. Who is in charge of big decisions?
6. Who would be prioritizing their career?
7. What kind of support do you expect from your spouse?
8. How will you include your spouse in important decisions?

Questions to Deepen the Relationship

1. What do you like and appreciate the most about your partner?
2. How do you express love and affection?
3. What are your core values and how do they match with your partners?
4. How would you like your partner to express love and affection?
5. What makes you both compatible?
6. How will you keep your personal identity?
7. Who is your role model for the perfect marriage?

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