If your dream is to win big at an online casino in South Africa, you can’t really live by the philosophy of “Fake it till you make it”. Even with poker, it is a computer. On the other hand, if you are playing poker in person, then you could theoretically “Fake it till you make it” or “bluff” as they say in poker lingo.
But we are not talking about online poker. We are talking about a 22-year-old woman named Shauna Rae who was born with brain cancer. Although the chemo treatments cured her cancer, it also destroyed her pituitary gland and caused her to stop growing without painful growth hormone treatments.
The end result is that Shauna Rae looks like an 8-year-old girl, but talks and acts like a 22-year-old woman, which she is.
This is more of an open letter to Shauna Rae than a specific review of her show, but if you want to hear the life story of an amazing person, “I am Shauna Rae” is definitely worth watching.
Flaunt what you got
Shauna Rae, you are a 22-year-old cancer survivor. Yea, it sucks that people look at you and make assumptions, ask stupid questions, and make stupid comments. If it was me, I would “answer the questions” before they were asked.
Take the informal route, wear a button on the front straps of your backpack. Most cancers have a color ribbon that represents them. Check this cancer color representation chart. I am not going to list all of them here, but I will list the ones that apply to Shauna’s cancer:
- light purple (lavender) – any cancer
- gray – brain cancer
- gold – childhood cancer
In a button, put a light purple or gold cancer awareness ribbon in the center, and around the edge write “22-year survivor”. And if you really wanted to be snotty, you can add “What’s your medical history”?
If you want to be fancier, you can get a fancy broach or a necklace pendant in the shape of the cancer ribbon, and have it engraved with “22-year survivor”. Gold is the color for childhood cancer survivors, and gold makes any jewelry very elegant.
Do a quick Google or Amazon search, and you can get some nice ideas, and if you include the phrase “22-year survivor” it will answer people’s questions before they ask. It can also give people an out to say a comment without saying a comment. “Beautiful broach. 22 year can survivor. That is amazing.” Now both sides can focus on whatever the conversation should be focused on.
Here is a couple of options that I think are pretty:
- Necklace pendant: “It came. We fought. I won” (gold and silver)
- Pin: Childhood cancer (gold color)
Personally, I would make sure that it could be engraved with “22 years and counting” or just “22 years”.
I would also have buttons that have the quotes, “Ask a stupid question. Get a stupid answer.” or “22-year cancer survivor. What’s your medical history?” Yes, those options are obnoxious, but you can just point to the buttons and most likely the other person will quickly change the subject.
Move to a walking-friendly community
Sorry, but Long Island is the farthest thing from being a walking-friendly community. Plus, any time that you want to get out of Long Island, you have to go over two major bridges (traffic from Hell). Yuck. Or take public transportation through Manhattan.
I have no depth perception because I was born with a dead muscle in my eye. So I hate driving, and if I can pawn driving off on somebody else, I will. I understand wanting to have a driver’s license, so you can drive when you want to.
But speaking for myself, at least, I would never, in a million years, move into a community where I could not survive without a car. What do I consider musts in a community?
- Getting to work or school without a car.
- Getting to the grocery store without a car.
- Getting to a pharmacy without a car.
- Getting to the library without a car.
- Getting to a community center without a car.
- Getting to a playground or nice park without a car.
Other things that are not anti-car specific.
• Sidewalks. If the community is walking-friendly, there will be sidewalks. No sidewalks, the community is not walking-friendly and not for me.
• Easy and safe access to transportation hubs. Easy access to commuter train lines. If you can get to one of those two places, you can get anywhere else you want to.
• Streetlights. If you want to walk at night, you want to be able to see.
Do these features exist in a community that is also safe. Yes. They may be hard to find, but they do exist. Two communities that I personally know of, that meet these criteria are
• Old City in Philadelphia. Since these are where a lot of historical landmarks are located, there is good security in this area. Since the community was built pre cars, it is very walking friendly. And all major train lines are easy and safe to get to.
• Highland Park, NJ. The main part of the community is a 1-mile square radius, so you can walk from one end of the community to the other end of the community, no problem. It is a mixed community with both higher income housing and lower income housing.
The main center of the community has all of your major stores (grocery, pharmacy, gyms, gift shops, library, restaurants, places of worship, etc. New Brunswick borders Highland Park to the west. Buses to New Brunswick (Rutgers’ University) are a quick bus ride away. Edison with the Edison Train Station is on the East. Train tracks border on the North and a River borders it on the South.
Living in a community that is walking-friendly does not mean that you are limiting yourself to life without a car. It is just making sure that you always have the option to live without a car if that is what you choose.
One final note, both of those communities are a day trip away from Long Island, so it will make it very easy to visit your parents and for them to visit you.
Big universities are not the only option for colleges
As a general rule for college, any course that is not related to your major (liberal arts courses and free electives), you can take through community colleges or online and transfer the credits to your main school.
One positive of COVID is that the options for online courses that are of good quality are greater now than then they were 2 years ago. Some schools never figured out how to manage online courses, while others have created good options.
Community colleges and some private schools have one of their selling points, small class sizes.
The general advice I would give to anyone, pick an undergraduate major where you can get a job with just that level of education. Right now you want to become a vet, but that is a lot of training and there are only 30 colleges of veterinary medicine in the United States. Several thousand applicants compete for the approximately 3000 seats available each year.
- Veterinary science
- Biology
- General Science
- Zoology
Those are the most common majors for people who go to veterinary school, but as long as you complete all the required pre-veterinary classes, you have other options. You don’t have to be a pre-vet major to get into vet school – you just need to get the prerequisite coursework completed and do well. You can even major in engineering and get into vet school.
That being said, you may even want to consider a school like RIT. RIT does not have an official pre-vet major, but it does have a pre-vet advising program. Why RIT? RIT also houses NTID, National Technical Institute for the Deaf.
Although NTID does have some majors that are specific to NTID, a large number of deaf students major in standard RIT majors and take classes with standard RIT classes.
The only exception is the class may have interpreters (deaf students get priority sitting in the front of the class near the interpreters), and the classes have notetakers, other students in the class who are paid by the school to share their class notes.
Being in a class with other students who also have a physical disability, you are no longer the exception, but just another student with a different physical disability.
Since many of the accommodations that you are going to need (sitting in the front, note-taking in case you missed something) are already standard features that exist in the school for every class that you are going to take.
Your sister Tara’s perspective is off base
I know that your sister Tara loves you and wants what is best for you, but she is off base with how she handled the bachelorette party. It is one thing to say, “Hey Shauna, you are smart. You are a hard worker.
If you set your mind to it, there is no reason why you cannot become a vet.” It is quite another to say, “I am going to ignore your physical height and expect the same thing from you as I would any other average height adult when doing activities where height does matter.”
Come on Tara, think. Tara could have easily scouted out bars to find one that had bar stools. When a short person stands next to a bar that is at the level of her eyes, it is obvious that she is short. Allow Shauna to sit on a barstool or get a table and it would have made the obvious not quite as obvious.
Get some short statue appropriate furniture
Shauna, every time I see you sitting on that huge chair, I cringe. Get a youth recliner chair. There are ones that look just like adult recliner chairs but are designed for small stature people.
You’re an adult. Invest in a good-quality chair that does not remind you every time you sit in it that your statue is smaller than the average adult.
Invest in a chaise lounge couch. Sitting on a couch where you are supposed to put your feet on the ground, but you can’t, just makes you feel small. A couch with a chaise lounge option will allow you to sit on the couch with your family members while allowing you to feel comfortable.
Invest in a good quality sit-stand adjustable desk with a motor, and an adjustable chair.
Invest in a good quality adjustable dining room chair. Personally, I use a height adjustable office chair as a dining room chair. Gaming chairs are currently in fashion, and many companies already produce adult and youth versions of the same chair style. That will allow you to get a comfortable chair that is designed for your body stature that visually looks nice.
Who cares if it is not at “standard dining room chair”.
Invest in a 3 step step stool. Invest in a full length wall mirror. You are too old to push a chair up to the bathroom sink to put on your makeup.
Finally, tips for your apartment
When you get your apartment, put in some Ikea floor-to-ceiling cabinets with high-quality shelves that support high weight amounts. It is so nice to be able to reach plates and cups and pots and pans without having to get a step stool for every little thing.
The half-width, deep cabinets are the best for this purpose. Do not get drawers, except one to hold table cloths or other light stuff. With mirrored doors, the cabinets will look fine in any living room, dining room, or kitchen.
Have your family walk around on their knees for 3 days to a week. It is called “awareness training”.
