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32 Best Trailer Park Boys Quotes: You Just Can’t Unsee These

by Gloria Louden
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If you’re anything like me and my friends, you probably can’t get enough of Canada’s most loveable delinquents. The Trailer Park Boys mockumentary films and series follow three central characters, Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles, as they live out their lives at Sunnyvale Trailer Park. They get into all sorts of shenanigans along the way, mostly related to their marijuana business and other petty criminal activities.

As wicked as they are, the characters of the Trailer Park Boys mockumentary series all have some outstanding zingers! After all, throughout the show, movies, and specials, the characters have been put through a lot. In-between numerous jail stints, the boys spent their time cultivating their plants, avoiding cops, and navigating fatherhood. Don’t those circumstances sound like the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of nuggets of wisdom?

Still, now that we’re almost twenty years into the boys’ story, it can be hard to recall some of the best Trailer Park Boys quotes. Hopefully, the compilation I’ve put together should remind you of some of the good times you had watching the fellas!

Top 32 Raunchiest Trailer Park Boys Quotes

The Most Epic Trailer Park Boys Quotes

#1. “Know what I’m sayin’?” — JRoc

#2. “What’s crackin’, y’all? Let me be the first to officially welcome y’all ma-f*ckas to my brand-new joint: Scrilla Villa!” — JRoc

#3. “Julian starts feedin’ me this bullsh*t, ‘Oh I don’t have insurance on my car’ like… I don’t have insurance on my car.” — Ricky

#4. “Jesus, I hope I don’t get pulled over. No license, registration, insurance, not a f*ckin’ thing.” — Bubbles

#5. “This here’s my shed, right here. I’ve been living in these most of my life. A lot cheaper than a f*cking trailer.” — Bubbles

#6. “You’re prostituting yourself out for cheeseburgers again, aren’t you?” — Julian

#7. “No cat of mine’s gonna live in a car.” — Bubbles

#8. “Ricky won’t give me my kitty.” — Bubbles

#9. “Let the liquor do the thinkin’, bud.” — Lahey

#10. “Mr. Lahey, is this you talkin’ or the liquor?”

“Randy… I am the liquor.” — Randy and Lahey

#11. “The liquor feels like a familiar pair of slippers that you put on and sit in front of the fire.” — Lahey

#12. “Have you read the Bible?”

“Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. What’s it to you?”

“Can you read, my son?”

“Well, that depends. Can you go f*ck yourself?” — Hampton and Bubbles

Trailer Park Boys Quotes About Weed

#13. “I smoked a lot of f*ckin’ hash that night. Nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I’m ashamed of myself. First can doesn’t count; then you get to the second and third, fourth and fifth I think I burned with the blowtorch. Then I just kept eating.” — Ricky

#14. “You’re here for one reason and that’s to sell drugs, okay? Stay focused, man.” — Julian

#15. “I try to be a role model for kids around the park. If some kid wants to grow dope, they can come talk to me. Instead of growing dope six or seven times through denial and error, they’re gonna get it right the first time.” — Ricky

#16. “You know, there’s certain accidents where you may be drunk and on drugs, but it’s gonna happen anyway whether you are or you’re not.” — Ricky

#17. “Tonight, I am getting so f*cking drunk and smoking so much goddamn dope and cigarettes; it’s gonna be awesome.” — Ricky

#18. “A lot of people say you can’t smoke dope and get drunk when you got kids, and that’s not true. You can, but you still gotta get up in the morning.” — Ricky

Trailer Park Boys Quotes About Prison and the Law

#19. “The thing is, in order to stop breakin’ the law is we gotta break the law just for a couple of minutes, and then we’re gonna be done, retired.” — Ricky

#20. “It’s hardly any drinking in here anymore, you can’t get good dope, and they banned smoking from the f*ckin’ boys, took smoking away from us, that’s f*cked! Jail used to be so f*ckin’ cool, but now, it’s big-time f*cked!” — Ricky

#21. “I can’t go to jail. Who will look after my kitties?” — Bubbles

#22. “Number one: we’re on probation. Which is no big deal but, you know, I don’t really wanna go back to jail. And number two, or three, or whatever number we’re on…” — Ricky

#23. “I’d like to make a request under the People’s Freedom of Choices and Voices Act to be able to smoke an’ swear in your courtroom.” — Ricky

Trailer Park Boys Quotes — Rickyisms

#24. “You can go to college, and you can get your little PFD or whatever the f*ck it’s called, I don’t care.” — Ricky

#25. “What are you doin’ using your big school words; just use normal people words and I’ll understand what you’re talkin’ about.” — Ricky

#26. “Exactly. Get two birds stoned at once.” — Ricky

#27. “One man’s garbage is another man person’s good un-garbage.” — Ricky

#28. “Do you have a search warranty?” — Ricky

#29. “Survival of the fitness, boys.” — Ricky

#30. “I’m not a pessimist; I’m an optometrist.”  — Ricky

#31. “A lot of people might say I’m stupid; I don’t know; I don’t think I am. I’m probably smarter than that, I mean. This thing here’s smarter than me, I guess, but it has a battery.” — Ricky

#32. “It doesn’t take rocket appliances to realize all you gotta do is take a f*ckin’ chain, hook it up to a truck, and yank the f*ckin’ bank machine outta the store. Gorilla see gorilla do.” — Ricky

To Conclude

Collecting all of the Trailer Park Boys’ best lines is a tough job, but somebody had to do it! However, I don’t claim to have done a perfect job. Since the fellas have been around for so long, I don’t doubt that there are many more excellent statements I didn’t include. The only way to appreciate all of them would be to watch the whole show again. I, for one, am up to the challenge!

Still, if you ever want just a quick taste of all the misbegotten adventures the boys have been on, just read these Trailer Park Boys quotes. But consider yourself warned: these epic lines will definitely make you want to waste hours of your day watching a bunch of insipid miscreants goof off!


image source: youtube.com

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